Marriage...

"Marriage isn't always easy".

It's a common thing married people say when you are about to get married. It's a ridiculous understatement!!! People don't tell you how frustrating your wonderful spouse can be. They forget to mention how many times you will question if this was a mistake. They don't tell you about the times they want to get away, but since you now live together you can't just go home. They don't mention the times you will just want to cry and scream because of something your spouse does. Or how annoying even the smallest things can be now that you are living with this person 24/7.

But they also don't tell you about the way your spouse will look at you. The way you will feel when you feel their warmth lying next to them in bed. They keep quiet about the times they smile together, all the times they laugh together. They never mention the pride that comes when things get worked out.

So today was a test of what Jason and I have. We fought and felt frustrated with one another. I'm still feeling anger and hurt...but we made a life long commitment. We are "stuck" together! I think this fight will make us stronger together! I want to become the woman of God I was created to be and part of that is being the wife I am supposed to be. So I will strive to be better...

6 Months

So my baby is officially 6 months old. She is getting bigger everyday. I can't believe how old she is. I found out I was pregnant about 14 months ago. I remember I went to the pregnancy resource center to find out. I remember the excitement and anxiety I felt. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I remember calling my mom and telling her, and just looking at Jason and telling him "we are pregnant"!!! I couldn't have imagined then how much love and care swells up inside me when I see her. I never could have imagined how much fun it is to have a baby. I love being a mom, but not just because of the times when me and Xoe can play and laugh and smile together, but for the times she is crying and needs me. The times when she would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and I got to get an extra hour with her even if it was 2 am. I love the times she is scared and needs me to comfort her, the times she is hungry and needs me to feed her, the times she is mad and needs me to cheer her up. I love the work it takes to raise a child. I love knowing that one day, she will grow up and be who God intended her to be because I taught her how to trust Him. I love my 6 month old, healthy baby. She is perfect for me!!!